There is a dichotomy here. The new focus to run real long for the pure joy of it while training towards a marathon PR is like working with two opposing forces, working against each other toward the same goal. As I try to defend myself, since I will be logging more weekly miles than ever and aim to achieve the best fitness of my adult life, using this opportunity for one more chance at a marathon PR only makes since. However, it is certainly going to take a huge mental effort on my part to reconcile these two contradictory motivations.

To quickly summarize the week, it started out feeling great before ending with a lot of fatigue and a terrible cold. With a twenty miler only a week away, I am trying to get better and as recovered as possible to make next week a very successful week of training.

1/14
6 miles
@8:07 pace

While my body continues to feel good, I'm going to continue running on my off days. There is a vague sense of liberation when running on a day with no plan and no pace. It's like a blank canvas ready to be painted freehand. I will say, I'm getting a little tired of running up Greenspot; while it is the route near my house with the least elevation gain, it still averages at 5% grade and peaks at 8% for a continuous 1.2 mile stretch of road. I'm going to make more of an effort to run near work so I can get on the Santa Ana River trail.

1/15
8.4 miles
5 miles @ 7:51 Pace
3.4 miles @ 9:00 pace

I ran 5 miles early this morning up Greenspot and I decided to do an experiment: I wanted to run at a constant effort level while not looking at my watch at all until the run is over where I would check the mile splits to gauge how much the elevation change really does effect pace according to a leveled effort. Well, on a 2.5 mile stretch that a ran out and back, the front half is uphill before coming down it on the way back. so, my splits went 8:44, 8:41, 7:57, 6:41, 6:47... interesting.

The second run of the day was my favorite since last Wednesday; it was a nice 3.4 mile loop with Doug where we ran at a comfortable conversation pace and just enjoyed the workout while enjoying the company.

1/16
14 miles
@9:05 pace

It is all my fault. I tempted fate and it bit me right in the rear. While deciding to run everyday as long as my body continued to feel good, of course it would be the day of my longest run yet of this training that I'd wake up feeling exhausted, taxed and sore.

The coolest part of this run was heading down the Santa Ana River trail past Van Buren. Running down that trail, through different zip codes, always feels like an adventure. However, the temperature is heating up and the direct sun was a little hard. Plus, the headwind coming back made my tired legs a little more so.

There is a silver lining, though. the biggest plus of this mid-week long run was negative splitting the out and back.

1/17
10.36 miles
7 miles with 3 @ speedwork : 7:05, 6:55, 7:12 pace
3 miles @ 9:37 pace

I can't complain much about this speed work day because I cheated. I was supposed to run 4 miles at around 6:30. But while I'm still trying to get my legs back, I decided to make it a little easier on my body body alternating easy and hard miles up to seven, instead of the normal half-mile easy between hard miles. With that said, I am slow and out of shape. It took all of my effort to get those weak splits.

1/18
6 miles
9:21 pace

Legs are tired. I am really looking forward to the next off day. As I start runs like this one with a lot of tightness and fatigue, it really is nice to experience them loosen up and feel stronger at about mile four, but there certainly is still not a lot of pace there. I think about Bill Murray in What About Bob; "baby steps".

1/19
10.1 miles
10:00 pace

Josh and Carrie were so supportive to watch the kids to Mae and I an opportunity to run a ten miler together up Greenspot to the Seven Oaks Bridge. It was fun to watch her actively stand up to a challenge and really charge it. We negative split this run, which of course includes long, continuous elevation changes.

I started feeling achy and feverish on the run and as the night went on, my throat closed up and a full blown sickness has broken out. I'm already over the weekly mileage and I am taking tomorrow off. What I'm hoping for now is quick recovery and strong training next week, which will culminate with a fitness testing twenty miler.

After one week of training, it is clear that this plan and these preparations will be the toughest yet, but perhaps not necessarily because of the physical demands of the miles logged and pace goals achieved. Training for the May 5th, OC Marathon, in pursuit of a PR and hopes of a Boston qualification, is sure to be full of mental challenges. To explain, while I have made a cognitive shift in perspective on what I want out of running, in the way I approach each training session as well as how this ideological change has shaped the formation of new goals, the innate competitive spirit within me that has been cultivated and strengthened throughout all thirty-two years of my life naturally kicks in the moment that I place one foot in front of the other.

I just want to run. I want to run for many miles and for long periods of time. Pace and time goals are no longer the number one priority. I want to just run for the joy of it. Then, hopefully once this new habit is forged, all of the rest will follow.

But my head is stupid. So far, my head is unable to not compare the current training run with the last. My mind cannot help but align expectation for this training period with the same period  before I set my marathon PR. As long as seconds on the clock exists, my brain will always demand my body to go faster and harder than before.

As I said, my head is stupid.

Week 1 total: 43 miles

1/7
6.15 miles
@ 8:30 pace

The first training run was a good one. I felt like trotting up and down some hills and through the trees and I was happy that I did. What a feeling of exhilaration and fulfillment it is to experience when you begin a new journey of commitment and discipline.

1/8
6 miles
8:27 pace

It is quite clear how much I let myself get out of shape when my legs feel fatigued on the second run of a new training plan. The run still felt good, but I don't have any strength at the moment.

1/9
3.4 miles
9:42 pace

It was really great to run with Doug today. I'm hoping for a quick and strong return to form for my friend, as he battling back from an injury. The 3.4 miles was perfect for today. I definitely feel some soreness and the fatigue has increased. Running and talking with my friends is one of the coolest things on earth to enjoy.

1/10
11.14 miles
8:46 pace

Today's mid-week long run was great. The out and back up Greenspot to the Seven Oaks Dam felt good. The views were incredible and the rain was cold, along with the wind. The best thing about it was that I felt stronger and stronger as the miles stacked up and my paces showed my progress. As I've been actively trying to not let myself get discouraged by my weakness and lack of pace early on, today's run was really encouraging.

1/11
6 miles
7:56 pace

The streak continues; my body feels pretty good and as long as that remains to be the case, I plan on running everyday. What was really fun about today is that I forced myself to not look at my watch until the turn around and again at the end of the run. This allowed me to run purely according to feel. I got my heart pumping on the uphill and just enjoyed the rest.

1/12
4 miles
8:30 pace

I'm trying to constantly remind myself that this will be a long journey and I need to slow things down often; especially now, as I'm trying to regain fitness. So, this was a nice and short recovery.

1/13
6.3 miles
7:41

This was a humbling day. I tried to push the pace a little and test my body a bit for the last run of the first week. What is disappointing is that this was the result. I'm definitely not letting it bother me, but its not fun to be reminded that you're only a sliver of your former self.

Well, that was week 1. I wander what week 2 will bring...